Where is that feeling? That christmas feeling that made me sick with anticipation and drunk with wonder as a child. Where is that feeling?
I think the problem is I get the feeling that we are not celebrating anything at all. All the Christian folk are thoroughly confused by the holiday, acting like shopaholic pagans and the pagans seem to have forgotten their gods and goddesses entirely, acting like accomplices to the commercial Christians.
Guys like me, broke and agnostic, have more than a few head scratching moments this time of year. When you see that look on our face it’s because we don’t know what we are celebrating.
We used to light up our windows with candles so the homeless and hungry would know that warmth and food were found within. We used to have a harvest and no guarantee against the winter. There used to be meaning to our winters merry making; celebration in the face of a dying world, a prayer for life next Spring. There used to be magic and so many other things that have all but dried up. Now we have movie magic and mickey mouse.
I don’t feel connected to any of this. Does it feel phony to anybody else?
We put up the tree. It looks nice. Bridget made Douglas Fir Sorbet, I’m not kidding.
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